Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
