remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
