When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
