i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
worst night to have a conscience
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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