He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
