I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
