my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
