Non-Jews are for practice
i would punch a child for taco bell
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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