she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I bet he comes in French.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize