I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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