Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
