I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
