mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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