Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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