I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
