what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
