He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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