did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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