maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
