Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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