I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
