I puked a lego.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
