i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
