Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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