I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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