you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
