i just snorted my name. best moment ever
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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