Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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