She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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