I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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