so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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