We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
