i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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