oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
