do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Boobs speak an international language.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
