I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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