jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize