is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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