I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
