saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
