So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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