I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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