Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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