i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
