New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
