I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
