So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
