Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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