Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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