I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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