Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
