Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
