My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
