you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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