We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
