So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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