well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
