lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize