We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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