I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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