It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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