I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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