She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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