come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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